12 Jul 08

Zucchini (Part 5)

This series came about because many of you requested I blog what prisoners get up to sexually. If you take offence to sexual content you may not want to read on.

Max - A car-jacking Chukchansi Indian who entered prison as a teenager and went home to Las Vegas in 2007. His sexual adventures in prison include trading semen to an old pervert for commissary items.
Part four left off with Log insisting Max receive felatio from Cindy the transsexual.

“Did you go for it with Cindy?” I asked. “Did Log break you down?”
“No, dude,” Max said. “I tell Log, ‘I’m cool for now. I’ve gotta go back to the kitchen before they call for me.’
Log says, ‘So you don’t wanna get your issue?’
I say, ‘No,’ and put the shampoo bottle on the table.
Cindy’s still distracted.
I take a step to the door, and open it a little, and Log says, ‘Hey, Max, keep point real quick.’
I say, ‘OK. That’s cool.’ So now I’m outside of the door, watchin’ for guards, standin’ in front of the window, so no one can look in. People are walkin’ by, tryin’ to talk to me, dude, and it’s obvious I’m keepin’ point for some reason or other. I look across the run, and see a CO lookin’ at me. I’m getting’ a little paranoid now. I shouldn’t even be on Yard 2. A coupla minutes later, Log opens the door and asks me to come back inside.”
“Oh no.”
“I step just inside the door. I’m thinkin’ Log’s supposed to be my buddy, but he’s tryin’ to turn me out. I’m thinkin I need to examine how I choose my friends. I need to choose ’em more wisely.
Log says, ‘Do you wanna get your issue?’
It’s like he wants me to fall into that life of sin. It’s like an initiation ritual.
I say, ‘No, dude. I ain’t got time.’ ’Cause I’m tryin’ to be polite.
There’s a knock at the door, and a CO just walks right in, and says, ‘What’s that smell?’
I look up at the CO, and think I’m gonna get busted now for havin’ a threesome that I didn’t even do. It smells like sex up in that motherfucker.
The CO says, ‘What are you guys cookin’?’
Log says, ‘Just a soup.’
So I look toward the table, and I’m wonderin’ what happened to the shampoo bottle.”
“Uh oh.”
“When a CO busts you like this, sometimes they’ll strip you all out before they let you leave. I really don’t wanna get stripped out with these guys ’cause one’ll be lookin’ at my ass while the other checks out my dick. Who knows what the fucked-up rules of engagement are when it comes to Log and Cindy! If Log would do Cindy, then what is he plannin’ on doin’ to me?
The CO says, ‘You need to get outside and take care of those trays.’
I say, ‘Yeah. Just lemme roll a cigarette real quick.’
The CO leaves.
I’m rollin’ the cigarette, and I ask Cindy, ‘What happened to the shampoo bottle?’
Cindy says, ‘Don’t worry, honey. It’s in the bat cave.’”
I laughed.
“Now, I’m thinkin’, the shampoo bottle has been out, it’s been in, it’s been out, and now it’s locked in there again. It’s gotta be sore by now. I take off. I’m light again – six trays. I’m thinkin’, it’s just another day in my life at prison.”
“So, you didn’t succumb to the peer pressure from Log?”
“No. Not then.”
“But you went back there, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Did anything interesting happen?”
“Well, there was this funny-shaped hot-sauce bottle.”
“I was hoping you’d say something like that. Tell me about the hot-sauce bottle.”

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