28 Dec 07

Two Tonys on Jesus Christ (Part 1)

I asked Two Tonys to comment, with an emphasis on prison life, on some quotes of Jesus Christ.

But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.

So if a torpedo shanks me in the right kidney, am I to offer the motherfucker my left? C’mon now! For use in prison, this scripture is a complete fuckin’ joke. There’s a lotta weak ones or weakies who can’t fight, who won’t fight, who hide behind their Bibles when confronted. They claim they walk with Christ – which we all know is bullshit. I’m talkin’ about fucks who rape, steal, molest, lie, testify, and as soon as they hit the county jail they grab a Bible and look for a good plea deal. I feel if there’s a beef and I slap a fool and he turns the other cheek I’m gonna knock the shit outta him. And he’s losin’ my respect. But if he fights back and shows heart – win or lose – he’s earned my respect, and everyone else’s respect. You have to stick up for numero uno in prison or else you’re perceived as weak – and then you’re a goner, they’ll be on you like wolves. I’ve personally taken severe ass-kickin’s, but I still fought.

Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

That would be fuckin’ nice but it’s just not practical in prison. Imagine an army of mooches knowin' that you’ll give shit up upon request – fuhgeddaboutit! That’s not even practical on the streets. Whothafuck does that? A guy in here would never have any coffee, zoo-zoos or wham-whams. There’d be a line of mooches at your cell.

Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

You hafta worry. You hafta contemplate your situation. Worry is good to the extent it can keep you alive. But you’ve gotta worry about the real shit, not if the laundry workers put too much starch in your underwear, or if it’s five minutes past rec and your cell door isn’t open. But if some fool wants you X’d out in the chow hall, or if some motherfucker who owes you money is tryin’ to blindside you, then worryin’ may keep you on your toes in those situations.


What do you think about Two Tonys comments?


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