03 July 06

The Danger of Being a Brit in an American Prison on Independence Day (Part 1)

Travelling home from Two Tonys’, some inmates obstructed my way.
“Down with the queen I say!” Short Dog yelled. “No taxation without representation!”
“Two-hundred-and-thirty years of independence, and we’re still barbarians!” Slope howled.
“Bugger Independence Day!” I yelled at the inmates gathering in front of Building B.
My reply caused more inmates, large and tattooed, to come out of their cells and stare at me.
Hurrying away, I heard one of them shout, “Whatthafuck did the goddam Limey just say?”
If I were a Cyclops I would have chopped them up and eaten them for supper. Instead, I opted for appeasement. I stopped walking, raised my fist, and yelled, “I said, ‘Hurrah for Independence Day!’" Chased by their yells, I dashed home.

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