9 Sept 07

The Double Murderer (Part 4)

Iron Man rushed into my cell, and said, “Jon, listen up: that motherfucker Magpie was just over on A run saying how he’s gonna kick your ass over that shit in the kitchen – the beef you had with him.”
“He’s always running his mouth,” I said.
“This shit is serious. This guy’s already stuck two people in the joint and they’re both dead.”
“What should I do about it?”
“This is what you gotta know about Magpie and what you gotta do: he’s got a steel rod in his left leg, his legs fucked up.”
“From what?”
“He got shot by the guards a while back. As soon as he walks in your cell you gotta feint with a left jab and then do a front snap kick to his left thigh as hard as you can.”
“Wait a minute. I’m about to get out. I don’t want to get in a fight and lose my release.”
“Fuck all that! Would you rather get out in a pine box? Whatthafucks wrong with you, man? Your life’s in danger and you’re worried about not getting in a fight.”
“I see what you’re saying. Don’t get me wrong: if he does come to my cell and attacks me, I will be forced to defend myself. You don’t think he’ll come at me with a shank do you?”
“Listen, you’re not understanding what I’m saying. All this about him coming in your house and you being forced to defend yourself, get that shit out of your mind, OK? Are you hearing me? If he comes in your cell, you attack him the minute he walks through that door. He may be carrying a shank. It’s not like he’s coming over for high tea, England.”
“If I’m unarmed, how do I fight against an armed man?”
“Like I already told you - ”
“Kick him in the thigh?”
“If someone comes at you with a shank, you get a hold of their arm and break their fucking wrist. Let me show you. Stand up and come at me like you’ve got a knife.”
I went at him and he grabbed my arm, twisted it and almost snapped it.
“See,” he said, “how I gained control of the situation?”
“Yes.”
“But like I said: go for the left leg, he’s got a steel rod in there. If he can’t stand, he can’t fight.”
“I’ve got a feeling this might escalate and mess up my release.”
“If this guy comes to your cell with murder in his heart then whatever happens, happens. You’ve gotta let the chips fall where they may.”
“I guess this is just part of being in prison.”
“Yeah. It’s survival man.”

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