24 Feb 06

Pops

At rec, Pops looked lonely sitting outside of Building D.
“How’re you doing?” I asked.
“I’m soakin’ up a little vitamin D,” Pops said, pointing a gnarled finger at the sun.
“How’s Slingblade?”
“He’s gettin’ nuttier all the time. He’s takin’ a crap at least four times a day. I gotta cover my head 'cause it stinks so bad. Sometimes he’s on the can, and I gotta take a leak, so I have to do it in an old soup can.”
“Has he blocked the toilet up recently?”
“No. I told him ‘By God, if you plug this one up you can find somewhere else to live’.”
“So he’s wiping with TP?”
“Toilet paper, newspaper, and TV Guide. He don’t know you can’t keep your rear clean with that slick paper. I reckon his mother probably spoiled him.”
We were joined by Weird Al and Slope.
“His mother probably had a subscription to TV Guide,” Weird Al said.
We laughed.
Pops began to ramble on about alfalfa, so I left to play chess with Frankie.

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