09 August 05

Arpaio’s Sci-Fi Slammer

Maniac Mack is now housed in Arpaio's new jailhouse. Mack wrote:

I have graduated to a level of classification reserved only for the most violent, dangerous, and seasoned inmates.
Here, no chances are taken. Indeed, for any and all human contact we must be shackled in leg irons, and belly belts with handcuffs attached. To come out of a cell, two officers must be present. All officers must wear stab vests at all times. Shankings – with homemade knives and sharp stabbing objects – are common practice. Stab vests cover all vitals not located on the face, and below the belt. The neck is covered by flaps attached to the vest.

‘Respect’ is the name of the game. A wrong word spoken in jest or seriousness can result in a shanking. This applies double to detention officers. If an officer disrepects an inmate, he is an instant target for up and coming youngsters to earn respect, and make a ‘name’ by turning that officer into a human pin cushion.

We are routinely strip searched. Any time we go to court, a special chair known as ‘The Boss’ awaits our return. Stripped to boxers, inmates sit on ‘The Boss’, and this miracle of modern technology lets the officers know if any metal is hidden in your rectum.

Visits are through video visitation. Games with our snail mail are common. You’d have to see it to believe it, and I don’t wish this on anybody.

Our cells are 6ft x 20ft. One man cells. Narrow little boxes of despair. Freezing cold they are. Punishment for blocking up the air conditioning ducts is to be stripped out for 72 hours. Mattress, everything, gone! Just you and your chattering teeth, hard nipples, and goose bumps.

'Restrictions got nothing on being stripped out,' says Vanilla Gorilla – spokesman for the whites. 'Fucking blizzard-like conditions, I didn’t sleep for almost three fucking days!'

Sheriff Joe has done everything to make this place a no-joke area, and still we laugh and joke around. It’s a subtle 'fuck you!' to the Man, saying you can’t break us. Starve me, freeze me, put me in solitary, I’m still laughing. The 'fuck you!' is for you Joe Arpaio, you still haven’t made a facilty that can break the indomitable human spirit.
Maniac Mack


Many thanks to Maniac Mack for what possibly may be the first insider account of Arpaio’s new jail to find its way onto the Internet.


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