8 July 05

Battle for my Cheerios

Previously, I wrote that prisoners sometimes fight over trivialities such as candy bars or cups of Kool-Aid. Lets add a handful of Cheerios to that list.

As Ogre has been friendly since Boxing Day Punch, even showing me pictures of his multiple children with multiple women and nude photos of his pretty ex-wife, I have been giving him my Cheerio ration, which I never eat. Last Weekend, Druid asked for my cereal first, so I gave my Cheerios to Druid instead of Ogre.

Ogre approached our table, grinning and licking his moustache. But when he saw that my Cheerios had migrated from my tray to Druid’s, his eyes widened and he yelled, “I own his Cheerios.” He grabbed a handful of Cheerios from Druid’s tray.

In prison, laying your hands on another inmates tray is an act of war. Druid – who receives counselling for an anger problem – became enraged as Ogre’s hairy fingers scooped up more Cheerios. As Ogre strode away, Druid fumed and refused to eat his chow.

After chow, Druid accosted Ogre, and there was puffing and shouting, pushing and shoving, and
almost a fight.

Now, I don’t know what to do with my Cheerios. Maybe General Mills could withdraw them from the market before someone gets hurt.

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