31 March 05

Bon Voyage Balls

One of the strangest prison stories I've heard is about an attempt by a man named Graham to convert himself into a woman named Gina. Equipped with a razor blade, needle, thread and a cigarette lighter, Gina....

Let's hear Xena tell the story.

“Xena, tell me what happened with Gina and the sex change?”
“She," said Xena, who refers to prison transsexuals as women,"wanted to have a vagina on the streets [outside of prison] but they wouldn’t giver her a sex-change op because she’s a felon. She would have had to wait somethin’ like seven or eight years without committing a crime before they’d do the op.”
“So she ended up back in prison and she decided to take matters into her own hands?”
“Yeah, she cut her nuts off and flushed ‘em down the toilet.”
“Wait a minute. How did she manage to do that in a prison cell?”
“She cut open her sack like this [Xena drew a circle with a vertical line down one side] and severed her vas deferens with a razor blade.”
“What’s the vas deferens?”
“It’s a vein, nerves and a tube that carries the sperm, it’s attached to the balls. She cut that, popped her nuts out, and flushed them down the toilet.”
“So the vas deferens is like a branch holding the nuts in the sack?”
“Yes. The branch was severed. The nuts were free.”
“Yikes!”
“Then she used a cigarette lighter to cauterize the wound and a sewing needle and thread from inmate hobbycraft to stitch herself up.”
“But she messed it up and got caught? Got caught performing the sex change on herself?”
“Yeah, the wound got infected.”
“She was wheeled out on a stretcher. She was all strapped down,” String Bean said.
“So, was she happy with the job?”
“Kinda. She said that she had lost a lot of weight and now that the nuts are gone she overheats a lot.”
“What about her penis? Does she still have one?”
“Yeah, and she still gets erections. She doesn’t like erections.”
“What gives her erections?”
“She gets excited suckin’ someone’s penis or takin’ it in the butt. She doesn’t like the erections though, she wants to have a vagina.”
“Is the empty scrotum sack dangling down there?”
“The sack’s shrunk quite a bit and she gets sensations where the sack is at. She’d be much happier with a vagina.”
“Do you want to have a vagina, Xena?”
“We’re all gonna get vaginas - fuck it! I wanna get a vagina on my right hand, that way my fingers won’t get tired. I’ll be able to fuck someone with my hand and tickle their balls at the same time.”
Xena stood up, bumped my shoulder with her hip, licked her right armpit, and sat back down.
“I don’t really wanna vagina, but I do believe that if someone wants to change themselves or their lifestyle, and that will make them a better member of society, they should be free to choose those changes.”
“How do they make the penis into a vagina?”
“They slice the penis in half and fold it into the body.”
“But they can’t get their rocks off then can they?” String Bean asked.
“Kinda. The incoming penis would rub against the prostrate and they get the same pleasure as getting’ fucked in the ass but just from the other side.”
“Would it look like a pussy?” String Bean asked.
“Yes. They take the urinal tract and they place it to look like a clit and it works the same way.”
“But the clitoris contains highly sensitive nerve endings?”
“And there’s nerves in the prostrate.”
“That cause jollies?”
“That cause jollies. Yes!”
“OK. We’ll leave it at that. Thanks for the info Xena!”
“Anytime.”

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