24 Feb 05
Fasting
I decided to give my digestive system a rest by fasting. I haven’t eaten for fourteen hours. I'm hungry and there’s a strange taste in my mouth.
My fast was long overdue. I haven’t fasted since I was a guest at the Madison Street Jail (see blog entry 08/04/04). I only have ten more hours to go to make a day and then I will shovel peanut butter into my mouth.
Tuesday, March 1, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
17th Feb 05
Pecker Pucker
Strip searches sometimes cause an inmate’s penis to dwindle in size. This withered willy condition is jokingly referred to as "shrinkage" by the inmates. Xena, my lanky shemale friend, talked about shrinkage after we were both recently strip-searched.
“ It was so cold in there, I had shrinkage. And what sucks is that I was thinkin’ of all kinds of sex acts goin’ into the strip-search room hopin’ that my penis would be bigger when I showed it to them. But they kept us waitin’ for so long in that cold-ass room that it had shrunk back down to nothin’ by the time that I had dropped my pants.”
There are at least two factors that seem to cause teeny-weener: the room temperature and strip-search-anticipation anxiety. Over the Christmas holidays, due to the visits with my parents and my kitchen job, I was getting strip-searched three times a day. I noticed that my organ was its regular size during the brisk going-into-the-visitation-room one-on-one strip-search, whereas, later on, it suffered diminution during the coming-out-of-the-visitation-room strip-search, which involved a long wait, a cold room, and a naked can-can performance in front of four guards alongside three other inmates.
Much later on, after seven hours of sweaty kitchen work, I was subjected to another brisk search conducted by one guard in a warm restroom, and my organ made his manliest appearance of the day. Outspoken inmates jest about succumbing to willy-shrivel, especially during the cold winter months when shrinkage is most common. Male readers: imagine standing starkers with your hands in the air while a guard or two gazes at your mouth, armpits, and reproductives. How would your organ react under such pressure?
Pecker Pucker
Strip searches sometimes cause an inmate’s penis to dwindle in size. This withered willy condition is jokingly referred to as "shrinkage" by the inmates. Xena, my lanky shemale friend, talked about shrinkage after we were both recently strip-searched.
“ It was so cold in there, I had shrinkage. And what sucks is that I was thinkin’ of all kinds of sex acts goin’ into the strip-search room hopin’ that my penis would be bigger when I showed it to them. But they kept us waitin’ for so long in that cold-ass room that it had shrunk back down to nothin’ by the time that I had dropped my pants.”
There are at least two factors that seem to cause teeny-weener: the room temperature and strip-search-anticipation anxiety. Over the Christmas holidays, due to the visits with my parents and my kitchen job, I was getting strip-searched three times a day. I noticed that my organ was its regular size during the brisk going-into-the-visitation-room one-on-one strip-search, whereas, later on, it suffered diminution during the coming-out-of-the-visitation-room strip-search, which involved a long wait, a cold room, and a naked can-can performance in front of four guards alongside three other inmates.
Much later on, after seven hours of sweaty kitchen work, I was subjected to another brisk search conducted by one guard in a warm restroom, and my organ made his manliest appearance of the day. Outspoken inmates jest about succumbing to willy-shrivel, especially during the cold winter months when shrinkage is most common. Male readers: imagine standing starkers with your hands in the air while a guard or two gazes at your mouth, armpits, and reproductives. How would your organ react under such pressure?
14th Feb 05
Question Time
Liz asked about the practicality of implementing the Japanese community justice approach in the United States. (see blog 15th Oct 04)
I believe that reintegrative shaming, which has been successful in Japan, could be used in America. Statistics indicate that there are less than 100,000 prisoners in Japan versus over 1 million in the US (figures released by the US Dept of Justice 31/12/03, 1,470,045 total prison population) so taking a small fraction of the US prison population out and into community guidance programs would benefit the economy and reduce the taxpayers' burden. Those prisoners could be making a positive contribution to society.
America will continue to suffer rising crime and prison overcrowding until the politicians and legislators decide to address the root causes of crime.(see blog ‘Crime & Punishment) Unfortunately the profiteers continue to successfully lobby for the status quo, and as a result, a justice system designed to protect and benefit the public has been converted into a profit- making scheme.
Question Time
Liz asked about the practicality of implementing the Japanese community justice approach in the United States. (see blog 15th Oct 04)
I believe that reintegrative shaming, which has been successful in Japan, could be used in America. Statistics indicate that there are less than 100,000 prisoners in Japan versus over 1 million in the US (figures released by the US Dept of Justice 31/12/03, 1,470,045 total prison population) so taking a small fraction of the US prison population out and into community guidance programs would benefit the economy and reduce the taxpayers' burden. Those prisoners could be making a positive contribution to society.
America will continue to suffer rising crime and prison overcrowding until the politicians and legislators decide to address the root causes of crime.(see blog ‘Crime & Punishment) Unfortunately the profiteers continue to successfully lobby for the status quo, and as a result, a justice system designed to protect and benefit the public has been converted into a profit- making scheme.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Lost in Post – Penguin’s Scars
The following blog has just arrived although Jon sent it in October. It refers to Penguin (See blog 25/09) who was Jon’s cellmate at Florence. .
Penguin has been miserable ever since his birthday. He’s written to his mum several times, but he hasn’t received a reply. Every night, with hope in his eyes, Penguin looks at the mail officer.
“Is that all the mail there is?” he constantly asks.
“What I’ve handed out is all I’ve got. I tell you this every night!”
Penguin is hoping for a belated birthday card from his mum.
The guards and inmates have been teasing Penguin about the pentagram tattoo on his forehead. Penguin got the pentagram at the behest of a tattoo artist in Sunnyslope.
Penguin asked the tattoo artist to place the pentagram on his chest. The price agreed upon was $120. The man offered to do the tattoo for free if he could put it on any part of Penguins body. Penguin agreed and the forehead was designated. Penguin insists he is not a Satanist and that the tattoo is his family’s ancestral symbol. He claims that he is a Nazarene descended from the Hebrew line of the Israelites. The inmates laugh at this.
When Penguin was topless I noticed a large, thick scar stretching from his upper abdomen down to his public mound. I also noticed another scar that goes around the side of his belly. I asked Penguin how he had come to get such scars on his torso. Another tragic tale emerged.
In 1990, when Penguin was eighteen, he was roaming around Sunnyslope with his friend Jimmy, who was in possession of a 16-inch knife that belonged to Penguin. A car went by slowly, and Penguin, thinking that he recognised the occupants, waved at them and urged them to stop. Penguin approached the driver’s side of the vehicle and realised that he had made a mistake. Penguin promptly apologised but the driver punched him in the face. Penguin retreated but one of the passengers in the vehicle jumped out and accosted Jimmy, who pulled out the blade. The passenger pulled a handgun. Jimmy dropped the knife and bolted. Penguin was running away at a slower pace when the passenger tackled him and stabbed him in the stomach. Before fleeing, the passenger started to slice the knife through Penguin’s flesh in what almost resulted in a disembowelment.
It took Penguin a few minutes before he realised he had been stabbed. He was looking for Jimmy when he noticed blood soaking his clothing. It took Penguin 30 minutes to walk half a block to reach a pay phone. He was losing consciousness when the paramedics arrived.
The doctor, fearing that Penguin’s internal organs had been damaged, decided to cut Penguin open to examine his entrails. They cut a large incision down his torso and during a
twelve-and-a-half-hour operation the doctors examined Penguin’s intestine inch by inch. They informed his family that 90% of the victims of such stab wounds die.
The damage to Penguin’s internal organs was not life threatening, but Penguin entered a coma and remained in it for two-and-a-half weeks. Penguin claimed that he saw a bright light when he was comatose and that he heard God’s voice saying: “Do not fear my precious child, for I am with you.” Penguin survived but ever since the incident he has suffered from irritable bowel syndrome and acid reflux disease.
Penguin wrote a poem this week:
Misery Is Living (by Penguin)
Misery is living for me right now,
And God won’t let me go.
I am trapped in my loneliness and pain.
To woe my soul and to know,
Is all I have to look forward to?
And still I cry for death’s cold grip
To end my pain of endless loneliness,
And lonely nights of my weeping soul
19th October 04
The following blog has just arrived although Jon sent it in October. It refers to Penguin (See blog 25/09) who was Jon’s cellmate at Florence. .
Penguin has been miserable ever since his birthday. He’s written to his mum several times, but he hasn’t received a reply. Every night, with hope in his eyes, Penguin looks at the mail officer.
“Is that all the mail there is?” he constantly asks.
“What I’ve handed out is all I’ve got. I tell you this every night!”
Penguin is hoping for a belated birthday card from his mum.
The guards and inmates have been teasing Penguin about the pentagram tattoo on his forehead. Penguin got the pentagram at the behest of a tattoo artist in Sunnyslope.
Penguin asked the tattoo artist to place the pentagram on his chest. The price agreed upon was $120. The man offered to do the tattoo for free if he could put it on any part of Penguins body. Penguin agreed and the forehead was designated. Penguin insists he is not a Satanist and that the tattoo is his family’s ancestral symbol. He claims that he is a Nazarene descended from the Hebrew line of the Israelites. The inmates laugh at this.
When Penguin was topless I noticed a large, thick scar stretching from his upper abdomen down to his public mound. I also noticed another scar that goes around the side of his belly. I asked Penguin how he had come to get such scars on his torso. Another tragic tale emerged.
In 1990, when Penguin was eighteen, he was roaming around Sunnyslope with his friend Jimmy, who was in possession of a 16-inch knife that belonged to Penguin. A car went by slowly, and Penguin, thinking that he recognised the occupants, waved at them and urged them to stop. Penguin approached the driver’s side of the vehicle and realised that he had made a mistake. Penguin promptly apologised but the driver punched him in the face. Penguin retreated but one of the passengers in the vehicle jumped out and accosted Jimmy, who pulled out the blade. The passenger pulled a handgun. Jimmy dropped the knife and bolted. Penguin was running away at a slower pace when the passenger tackled him and stabbed him in the stomach. Before fleeing, the passenger started to slice the knife through Penguin’s flesh in what almost resulted in a disembowelment.
It took Penguin a few minutes before he realised he had been stabbed. He was looking for Jimmy when he noticed blood soaking his clothing. It took Penguin 30 minutes to walk half a block to reach a pay phone. He was losing consciousness when the paramedics arrived.
The doctor, fearing that Penguin’s internal organs had been damaged, decided to cut Penguin open to examine his entrails. They cut a large incision down his torso and during a
twelve-and-a-half-hour operation the doctors examined Penguin’s intestine inch by inch. They informed his family that 90% of the victims of such stab wounds die.
The damage to Penguin’s internal organs was not life threatening, but Penguin entered a coma and remained in it for two-and-a-half weeks. Penguin claimed that he saw a bright light when he was comatose and that he heard God’s voice saying: “Do not fear my precious child, for I am with you.” Penguin survived but ever since the incident he has suffered from irritable bowel syndrome and acid reflux disease.
Penguin wrote a poem this week:
Misery Is Living (by Penguin)
Misery is living for me right now,
And God won’t let me go.
I am trapped in my loneliness and pain.
To woe my soul and to know,
Is all I have to look forward to?
And still I cry for death’s cold grip
To end my pain of endless loneliness,
And lonely nights of my weeping soul
19th October 04
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Sunday, February 13, 2005
27 Jan 05
Psychotherapy and Music
I have been scheduled to see the prison psychotherapist, Dr. B. I have also obtained a textbook, Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy, which I hope will give me a better understanding of psychotherapy. Thus far, I have found the chapter on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy the most helpful, especially an approach called REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy).
The gist of REBT is that our negative interpretations of events, and not actual events themselves, cause us problems. The remedy is to break the pattern of negative thoughts, replacing them with positive ones. In short, changing our reactions to situations.
REBT seems to be a modern adaptation of certain schools of ancient philosophy. I practice Sidda Yoga meditation, which helps me let go of negative thoughts. The Stoics also had advice in this area. Epictetus taught, “People are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them."
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a holistic approach, which includes relaxation, humour, conversation and techniques such as yoga, meditation and listening to music.
Regarding music, I have been unable to listen to electronica since my arrest. At the Towers Jail in 2002, I listened to some radio broadcasts from a nightclub in Tempe, but I became sad. Too many memories were released all at once. I remembered the fun I had with my friends.
In order to relax I have begun to listen to music again. Most of the radio stations in Arizona are abysmal. They push the same play lists. But I did discover an excellent classical music radio station, NPR (National Public Radio). I tuned into NPR and listened to Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in C minor. Lying down on my bunk, I closed my eyes, and Beethoven’s concerto managed to make the hair on my arms rise.
As I was listening to Beethoven, Greg, an Aryan Brotherhood member, came to my door, and seeing my headphones and a smile on my face, asked if I was feeling alright. I assured him that I was and I explained that I was listening to Beethoven. He left with a grin on his face, returned a few minutes later, and flung two cassette tapes at me.
“I’ve got a fuckin’ anger problem, so my doctor tells me that when I feel like hitting someone, I’ve gotta listen to these.”
I am now enjoying Greg’s tapes: Mozart for Meditation and Bach’s Greatest Hits Volume 2. I especially like Bach’s Piano Concerto No. 27 in B-flat. I hope that Greg doesn’t smash someone while his tapes are absent.
I am going to ask my parents to coordinate the delivery of some tapes. Enya or Enigma would be good. Perhaps I am ready to listen to some Sasha or Paul Van Dyk
John at http://www.tofuhut.blogspot.com/ asked if there was any music that I liked that I considered underrepresented. Two of my DJ friends, Keoki and Sandra Collins were massive in the States before my arrest, but I am not sure about their popularity in Europe. They are both talented and perhaps they have made it big in Europe by now.
Psychotherapy and Music
I have been scheduled to see the prison psychotherapist, Dr. B. I have also obtained a textbook, Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy, which I hope will give me a better understanding of psychotherapy. Thus far, I have found the chapter on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy the most helpful, especially an approach called REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy).
The gist of REBT is that our negative interpretations of events, and not actual events themselves, cause us problems. The remedy is to break the pattern of negative thoughts, replacing them with positive ones. In short, changing our reactions to situations.
REBT seems to be a modern adaptation of certain schools of ancient philosophy. I practice Sidda Yoga meditation, which helps me let go of negative thoughts. The Stoics also had advice in this area. Epictetus taught, “People are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them."
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is a holistic approach, which includes relaxation, humour, conversation and techniques such as yoga, meditation and listening to music.
Regarding music, I have been unable to listen to electronica since my arrest. At the Towers Jail in 2002, I listened to some radio broadcasts from a nightclub in Tempe, but I became sad. Too many memories were released all at once. I remembered the fun I had with my friends.
In order to relax I have begun to listen to music again. Most of the radio stations in Arizona are abysmal. They push the same play lists. But I did discover an excellent classical music radio station, NPR (National Public Radio). I tuned into NPR and listened to Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 3 in C minor. Lying down on my bunk, I closed my eyes, and Beethoven’s concerto managed to make the hair on my arms rise.
As I was listening to Beethoven, Greg, an Aryan Brotherhood member, came to my door, and seeing my headphones and a smile on my face, asked if I was feeling alright. I assured him that I was and I explained that I was listening to Beethoven. He left with a grin on his face, returned a few minutes later, and flung two cassette tapes at me.
“I’ve got a fuckin’ anger problem, so my doctor tells me that when I feel like hitting someone, I’ve gotta listen to these.”
I am now enjoying Greg’s tapes: Mozart for Meditation and Bach’s Greatest Hits Volume 2. I especially like Bach’s Piano Concerto No. 27 in B-flat. I hope that Greg doesn’t smash someone while his tapes are absent.
I am going to ask my parents to coordinate the delivery of some tapes. Enya or Enigma would be good. Perhaps I am ready to listen to some Sasha or Paul Van Dyk
John at http://www.tofuhut.blogspot.com/ asked if there was any music that I liked that I considered underrepresented. Two of my DJ friends, Keoki and Sandra Collins were massive in the States before my arrest, but I am not sure about their popularity in Europe. They are both talented and perhaps they have made it big in Europe by now.
Inmate Resources
‘The only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion, and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this.’
John Stuart Mill, ‘On Liberty’
Inmates need stuff to read. The following organisations may be of use.
MIM DISTRIBUTORS
P.O. BOX 29670,
LOS ANGELES, CA 90029-0670
www.etext.org/Politics/MIM
MIM provides free books and newsletters to US prisoners nationwide. They publish a monthly theoretical journal espousing the theories of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin and Mao. They welcome written contributions from inmates.
FAULT LINES
2940 16th STREET ste. 216
SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94104
http://www.indymedia.org/
Fault Lines is a newspaper reporting alternative global news that is suppressed by the mainstream propaganda machine. They rely on donations, and welcome written work from prisoners.
NEWS & LETTERS
36 SOUTH WABASH, Room 1440
Chicago, IL 60603
http://www.newsandletters.org/
News and Letters is a newspaper also reporting alternative global news. They try to present all voices struggling for freedom including prisoners'.
EDWARD R. HAMILTON (bookseller)
FALLS VILLAGE CT 06031-5000
http://www.edwardrhamilton.com/
This bookstore has the cheapest prices I have ever seen. They offer a wide range of books. Their book catalogue is a must for prisoners who like to read. They make http://www.overstock.com/ seem expensive in comparison.
AK PRESS DISTRIBUTION
674-a 23rd STREET
OAKLAND, CA 94612
http://www.akpress.org/
They offer a 40% inmate discount and provide books that you will not find in your average bookstore, including some shocking titles in the sex section.
‘The only way in which a human being can make some approach to knowing the whole of a subject, is by hearing what can be said about it by persons of every variety of opinion, and studying all modes in which it can be looked at by every character of mind. No wise man ever acquired his wisdom in any mode but this.’
John Stuart Mill, ‘On Liberty’
Inmates need stuff to read. The following organisations may be of use.
MIM DISTRIBUTORS
P.O. BOX 29670,
LOS ANGELES, CA 90029-0670
www.etext.org/Politics/MIM
MIM provides free books and newsletters to US prisoners nationwide. They publish a monthly theoretical journal espousing the theories of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin and Mao. They welcome written contributions from inmates.
FAULT LINES
2940 16th STREET ste. 216
SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94104
http://www.indymedia.org/
Fault Lines is a newspaper reporting alternative global news that is suppressed by the mainstream propaganda machine. They rely on donations, and welcome written work from prisoners.
NEWS & LETTERS
36 SOUTH WABASH, Room 1440
Chicago, IL 60603
http://www.newsandletters.org/
News and Letters is a newspaper also reporting alternative global news. They try to present all voices struggling for freedom including prisoners'.
EDWARD R. HAMILTON (bookseller)
FALLS VILLAGE CT 06031-5000
http://www.edwardrhamilton.com/
This bookstore has the cheapest prices I have ever seen. They offer a wide range of books. Their book catalogue is a must for prisoners who like to read. They make http://www.overstock.com/ seem expensive in comparison.
AK PRESS DISTRIBUTION
674-a 23rd STREET
OAKLAND, CA 94612
http://www.akpress.org/
They offer a 40% inmate discount and provide books that you will not find in your average bookstore, including some shocking titles in the sex section.
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